JFD’s Top Ten Options for Gainful Employment for Federal Bureaucrats

by John F. Di Leo
August 25, 2017 A.D.
As issues ranging from the border wall to the debt ceiling are in the news again, we encounter the annual talk of a temporary government shutdown.
I am opposed to a temporary government shutdown.  
I’d like it to be permanent.
But just for the record, I do not hope for anyone to be unemployed.
I just want the millions of unnecessary bureaucrats who get federal paychecks to find productive employment in the private sector, that’s all.
There must be SOMETHING they can do…
I have spent some time online, studying available jobs around the world and matching up the requirements with the kinds of skills that federal bureaucrats have, and I’m happy to say that I’ve identified ten decent matches, as follows:
10:  Food taster for Kim Jong-Un.
9:   The guy in a construction crew who holds up the “Slow”/”Stop” sign on the highway.
8:  The guy that refills the napkin dispensers at fast food restaurants (we can’t trust them with the salt and pepper shakers though, they make a mess if you can’t screw on the lids).
7:  The guy at the grocery store who collects the carts from the parking lot (but not the greeter inside the doorway; that person always has to be in a good mood).
6:  The guy who sorts the recyclables into paper, plastic, or aluminum.
5:  The guy who picks up dead animals on the highway, and cooks them for dinner.
4:  The guy who walks around the house with a magnet after a siding or roofing job, to collect the fallen nails from the jobsite.
3:  The guy at a factory who tugs the sheet metal scrap from the stamping and cutting machines to the bin to sell to the scrap collector.
2:  The guy who stands at an intersection in a store’s costume all day, waving a sign advertising a special for the stores annual furnace clearance, income tax services, or going-out-of-business sale.
and the Number One Job for Federal Bureaucrats Who’ve Been Rightly Laid Off by a Federal Government Shutdown is:
1: An equally useless state, county, or local city or village bureaucrat.
copyright 2017 John F. Di Leo

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